bipolar rage stories

Here’s the short story. We were deeply in love and had achieved a lot together. The speaker was a bit overweight and didn’t like to sweat. Sometimes, one could also feel outbursts of aggression, rage or … The aftermath of full blown mania is a little like an alcoholic getting sober – the flashbacks begin – along with a slowly dawning recognition of all that has been squandered or destroyed. It’s an idea! One thing I hated about medication was gaining over 40 lbs – with every indication the weight was just going to keep piling on. Something my sister and I, have affecting us until this day. Like many, I have even been non-compliant with my medication for fear of getting fatter – with disastrous results! Maybe someone could anonymously share one of these posts with her. In the personal stories that follow, you’ll read about the difficulties of holding down a steady job, being a consistent partner and parent, learning to be truly independent. Substance abuse will be a recurring theme in the story that follows. I was attending a lecture from a traveling speaker. The person would feel sudden, unprecedented outbursts of mania, elation or euphoria. ), – destroyed a happy 12 year marriage with the perfect partner, – spent hundreds of hours in compulsive cybersex, – liquidated our retirement real estate portfolio of 6 houses, – lost my own home which I had owned free and clear, – blew thousands of dollars on international travel including 2 round the world trips, – threw away my career and a prestigious PhD scholarship. The stories told to women are about how to escape their rage, mitigate it, avoid it, stop blaming yourself for it. The risk of diabetes is THREE TIMES HIGHER if you have bipolar disorder. I appreciate your visit and comment. However, I always felt like the eternal addict who was just constantly bouncing from one addiction to another – from drugs to liquor to compulsive spending to gambling to obsessive relationships. Effects Are Significant. Out of shame, respect for my ex, and the constraints of good taste I won’t go into details, but my sex, spending and travel spree cost me not just a fortune in cash – it cost me my marriage, home and self respect. Personal stories focusing on various aspects of living with Bipolar Disorder - manic depression. I maintained a 4.0 GPA but couldn’t connect with any of my professors, the subject matter or my fellow students. Thanks for the clarification. Through much research, experience, and sheer trial and error, I developed my effective Bipolar Diet. My basic nature however was easy going so I usually dismissed my dark periods as PMS or just pushed them out of my mind completely. And a package she sent came today: presents for my kids just because. I hope it helps. But bipolar anger and bipolar rage takes it to another level. I was cold, but that’s not uncommon for me. Irritability in bipolar isn’t like your standard irritability. His rage comes from nowhere In particular, and goes on for days. Sadly, bipolar is surrounded by myths & distortions. So now I’m wondering if she is in an “up” phase now…. It’s probably the thing I hate the most about myself, and why I isolate myself when I feel that way. I may also produce a PDF copy in the near future. You can always send me an email by clicking the Contact link if that’s easier. I have learned to keep my bipolar monster caged on days like today. I am constantly working on ways to include more personal stories bipolar stories and more resources. My work life was all over the place – sometimes I was highly productive and could be a very genial and supportive colleague. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Do you want a post about having more than one mental illness? There are many bipolar stories available as books, e-books, and on sites such as this. This post also contains affiliate links. It’s a very ugly beast and usually one I feel like I’m only watching, helpless to control its actions. Thank you. Don’t worry about your English. I figured my problem was a lack of structure and activity and decided to get yet another college degree. I had a great academic record and was fortunate enough to win a prestigious and lucrative PhD scholarship. I was 23. (Just wish I could figure out how to say *I* do not want to be that outlet). You’re doing wonderful work here; I’m bookmarking your site and am signed up for your newsletter. Thank you M for your love, patience, forgiveness and support! Thank you for sharing your story – this website is really fantastic. The way most bipolar people do! Perhaps the poor kitty has just gotten his tail stepped on or had a menacing dog come too close. It’s a simple fact of life. He rarely slept, and he made his living through illegal gambling, drug dealing, theft, fencing, forgery and whatever other opportunities presented themselves. Therapy For Bipolar Disorder Although I didn’t realize it in the seventh grade, living with bipolar disorder made me feel insignificant and unwanted. In February 2009, the medical journal Psychiatric Services published findings showing that bipolar disorder can DOUBLE your risk of early death from a range of medical conditions – including those that can be controlled through diet and exercise. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. For those with a dual diagnosis of bipolar plus substance use, entertainment journalist Conor Bezane has been there, done that—and he compiles inspiring peer stories to share. Others will tell you that it’s part of depression. My 40s started very well with a job I loved at a dot.com, surrounded by a group of incredibly smart and nice people. Might it even have been described as rage? As soon as I started winding down from my worst ever, show-stopping, record-breaking manic binge, a bleak depression set in. It is an incredibly important issue. I had been so full of shame and regret – it was easier now to understand my behavior and I actually preferred the idea that I was mad and not bad! Medically reviewed by Scientific Advisory Board — Written by Candy Czernicki on November 16, 2013. ... Rape victim stories can be very difficult to read, frightening and emotionally draining for some but stories of rape show other victims that they are not alone in their struggles. There neither of us had to work full time and our investments continued to prosper. Bipolar stories are invariably gut-wrenching litanies of loss and regret. I have struggled with this nightmare myself, and I know what a big problem it is. If you are looking for bipolar stories, mine is a doozie. One of the worst times I have displayed Bipolar rage in public, I was triggered by the smallest of things – the temperature in a conference room. Feeling irritated by “small” things. I used various SSRIs for nearly 10 years and believe that they ultimately made my bipolar disorder much worse. You can turn your life around and improve your condition by following some straightforward, practical steps. By the way, if you are wondering who Goodwin and Jamison are, the new edition of Manic-Depressive Illness: Bipolar Disorders and Recurrent Depression by Frederick K. Goodwin, M.D & Kay Redfield Jamison, PhD came out in May 2007. He was handsome and brilliant and charming and affectionate and violent and crazy. They're hypersexual and prone to fits of rage. I even traveled internationally to hook up with some of these people, betraying the best partner in the world and squandering thousands of dollars that by rights belonged to both of us. Hmm. An Insider’s Perspective on Rage, 5 Ways to Successfully Handle Bipolar Rage and Anger, Kanye West and Bipolar Disorder: Mental Illness in the Spotlight, September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, Guys Also Feel Down, Lost and Internally Broken, The Unique Struggles of Being a Writer with Bipolar Disorder. (BTW: Please don’t think I am minimizing the struggles, sufferings or triumphs involved in alcoholism. The views, recommendations and results shared via this site or eBooks may be based on the authors’ personal experience with a bipolar life or understanding thereof. How did I come to know this? When I was 15 both of my parents went to prison, leaving me and my two sisters to fend for ourselves. I am doing well except some rage but a lot less because I try to think about the Lord and thank Him for all He did for me. Simply put, indifference is not caring one way or the other. Very true, all you write about aner etc. Soon after building a beautiful home at the beach (that we were making great capital gains on), I just had to move. Indifference. Thank you so much for sharing this! The symptoms are comprised of going through cycles of depression and mania (too much energy, poor decision making, and/or racing thoughts).. A significant portion of people with bipolar disorder also have moderate to high levels of anger. As a teenager I used a lot of drugs and drank heavily. Individuals with bipolar II disorder, on the other hand, experience less manic, or up, episodes. I visited a psychiatrist and had the great good fortune to finally share my story with a skilled, experienced and sensitive clinician. I sure hope so because this is still very hard for me to tell people about. (In my mind I think that this will always be the metaphor I will use.). Post was not sent - check your email addresses! There will be blood. Several people mentioned driving as a specific trigger: “My bipolar anger is very unreasonable. I gave up the drinking and drugging in my 20s, got a college education and tried to settle down. But in the grip of a manic episode, medication is usually needed along with lifestyle changes.). They can't hold down a steady job, and their relationships with friends and family are destructive at best. I searched for something like this when I got diagnosed three years ago, but I’m glad to find and explore it now. When the relationship floundered I became desperate – and my suicidal ideations were scaring me. As a way of an illustration, you can think of Bipolar anger and an upset housecat. The above describes where I am today, though I have grown to the point that I rarely destroy property or verbally abuse others anymore. Bipolar Disorder and Anger: Why It Happens and How to Cope Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP For some people with bipolar disorder, irritability is perceived as anger, and even rage. Thanks for sharing. It certainly never occurred to me that my story was just one of many bipolar stories. People with bipolar I are more likely to experience angry outbursts, or rage. In bipolar I disorder individuals experience both up (manic) and down (depressive) moods or episodes, with at least one manic episode in their lives. There was plenty of other carnage along the way – those are just some of the highlights that are sadly typical of the spending sprees, hypersexuality, and reckless impulsiveness of bipolar mania. __CONFIG_tve_leads_additional_fields_filters__{"group_id":null,"form_type_id":12608,"variation_id":null}__CONFIG_tve_leads_additional_fields_filters__, Copyright © Bipolar Lives 2007-2020 bipolar-lives.com All Rights Reserved, Bipolar Disorder, Why Words Really Matter, Living With the Stigma of Bipolar Disorder. (These are the same success strategies that usually appear in any bipolar stories.). Bipolar disorders are characterized by mood swings that can affect any person at any time. Bipolar Anger Towards Spouse. The weird thing was, instead of relaxing I started losing my mind! Bipolar rage, on the other hand, would be more like being a hungry lion and someone has just tried to drag your last and only food source away. Bipolar anger is not like normal anger. I looked and felt terrible. By that definition … We strongly recommend you to consult with a professional such as your doctor and/or therapist for specific advice related to your situation. In 2004, when I was 43, I finally did something so outrageous, so crazy, so totally destructive and inexplicable, that even a medical profession that routinely takes up to 10 years to come up with an accurate diagnosis couldn’t miss it. The four people profiled here are hopeful that their personal struggles will resonate with others and underscore the poignant reality that no one with bipolar is alone. This site is a participant in the Amazon Services, LLC. This is my story. Graduate school was a nightmare. Click through to read the next post for five things you can do to control the beast call Bipolar Rage. Bipolar II: Anger, Angst & Understanding. Must be hard when your so angry! Just another train wreck in the many – too many – bipolar stories you can find. To keep himself cool, he instructed that the temperature be set at 62-degrees (16.6 C). Scary stuff. Learn how your comment data is processed. My relationship was salvaged and I am lucky enough to once again know great love with someone wonderful. “I will feel absolutely irritated at the smallest thing that … We/website/any experts on this website do not offer specific medical advice for you. I am married to a bipolar man, was raised by a bipolar mother. I hope you also know I’m sorry you need to be in the middle of that rage every time. Where applicable, this content has been reviewed by a medical expert. My name is Carrie Cantwell, and I am an Emmy-nominated graphic designer and writer. Download a PDF copy of this post from our Free Resource Library. Other times my concentration was hopeless, I would day dream the hours away and chronically procrastinate. By subscribing to our mailing list, youll get the latest news, views and  info about bipolar disorder, direct to your inbox! For me, bipolar rage typically includes the need to break or destroy something, drive very fast, or berate someone verbally. Bipolar anger can be scary. She never remarried and her life has been a constant struggle. Video: Living Day-to-Day With Bipolar. If you’re a fan of the Marvel universe – I’m personally a huge sci-fi fan – you know the triggers that cause the generally mild-tempered Bruce Banner to turn into The Incredible Hulk. So where do I start? For one thing, there is an element of it that is uncontrollable. This was far more compelling to me than any PhD research. Your words here help me understand about the need for some sort of outlet to release that anger. As someone living with a significant other with bipolar disorder, not only is it a challenge for the individual, but also for their family, friends and caregivers. It’s not waking up in a bad mood, it’s often being triggered and going from 1-10 in terms of outburst. In fact, I was almost always angry about the stupidest things. My mother would threaten to kill herself in front of us kids. Or see our Famous Bipolar People page for fascinating interviews and profiles. 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